------------------UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE------------------ (Sex Trade Documentary)

8/21/09 (Frid) The little bit I did sleep I slept hard. I almost didn’t know where I was when my alarm went off, but I bolted out of bed. Keep the prayers acomin’, this should be an interesting day. I am sure it will all work out, not necessarily the way I think or hope it should, but everything will work out. Wow, look what a little sleep can do for you, it gives you a whole new outlook on life. :)

I am suppose to meet with Isabelle, the girls yoga therapist at 2:30pm today, we’ll see if that works out. I actually got a lot accomplished last night, so mainly I just have to input the new video we get today and add subtitles, so that’s good news.
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God is good. Why do I ever doubt or freak out? So every girl was there this morning and we got everything filmed in record time! :) I had everything almost edited by 11am! ☺ Now I just have to go back to the hotel and get capture some footage that I already filmed, make sure the audio is good and then export it. Then I make a DVD and hand it off to Sola tonight and I’m done! My hope was to have a DVD for each girl, but at least they will have one and they can burn some with the blank DVD’s I will be giving them. YEAH!

I am now sitting here waiting to talk with Isabelle, their yoga therapist. Then it’s off to edit, hopefully take a nap, then shower and get ready for dancing tonight! :) Now that the film is almost behind me, I can relax and have fun, plus go to the Killing Fields tomorrow! :)

I can’t believe that that was it. That was the last time I will see the girls for a year. It’s bitter sweet going home really. I can’t wait to see my husband, to be able to take a deep breath without toxic fumes, to sleep in my own bed, to actually sleep. But I will most definitely miss the girls, the staff, and Cambodia as a whole. I can’t wait to come back and have Kevin share the experience with me.

It’s hard when you don’t I don’t know the language and the girl who wants desperately to talk to me doesn’t know my language either. So we just give these smiles that says we long to say so much, but we cant. It’s amazing how these girls have so much capacity for love, they long to love and be loved, just like all of us. You would never know by looking into the innocent faces of these sweet girls that they have seen more and experienced more pain then most of us would experience in a life time. Yet even with all that they cling to you and are so vulnerable in your midst, laying their heart out before you. The resilience and fortitude baffles me. They are my heroes.

It’s really hard here to see all these suffering people living on the streets, lost limbs, chunks of flesh gouged out from mines or whatever it may be, little children naked, dirty and hungry, and they all want you to provide. Oh, if they only knew how much my heart longed to help. But would my money really heal their wounds, enable them to move from the streets and provide for themselves, bettering their situation? Probably not. It’s heart breaking to see some people that have been dealt a bad hand in life and truly just don’t have the opportunities, or know of resources to help, and others are somehow bound with unseen chains that society and themselves have placed upon them and they can’t break free. Whether they “choose” to stay in their situation or they have no choice. James has offered this one girl a job numerous times, but she chooses to stay in sex work, because she has the perception that she is making so much more doing what she is doing, when in reality she is making it, the bar is. So even those who “choose” to stay where they are in life, they really might not be choosing, but there is something hidden that keeps them where they are…
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So I met with Isabelle and I really like her a lot. She is very grounded and wise and passionate for helping the girls. It’s really encouraging to hear her speak. I could just sit at her feet and have her talk, soaking in all her knowledge for hours. :) I am excited to keep in contact via email and to see her again when I return.
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So we went dancing last night with the gang, we didn’t end up being able to pick up “my girl” though. :( Dancing was actually really fun. The place was huge and kind of fancy, they had this big stage with a band and people singing and then they would have the DJ up above the stage play music and everyone would flood the dance floor. Then they had like a comedy hour, which would have been funny if I spoke Khmer. :) I hadn’t been dancing in a long time, and it was really fun. I got to bed far too late though.